Difference between revisions of "Proton"
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| − | + | == Proton == | |
| − | + | '''Proton''' is a former member of Atomwaffen (no longer affiliated), washed up fan-fiction writer and a long-standing member of the Fishtank Alternative Groupchat. Despite frequent accusations, Proton insists that he is '''not''' the owner of the server--though his suspiciously quick access to ban commands has raised eyebrows. | |
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| − | + | Proton has had many careers in his short life, including dark market systems administration and alchemical craftsmanship. A schizophrenic hermit who suffers from severe paranoia, he has become notorious within the group for whispering into his microphone and occasionally gaslighting his friends during heated debates. | |
| − | + | More recently, Proton has become the subject of community lore due to his emotional entanglement with two other members: '''Cookie''' and '''Sammy'''. This complicated triangle has sparked countless memes, debates, and late-night arguments in voice chat. | |
| − | + | === The Cookie--Sammy Dilemma === | |
| − | + | '''Cookie''' -- Known for chaotic energy, erratic DMs, and emotionally confusing vibes. | |
| + | '''Sammy''' -- More grounded, emotionally intelligent, and passive-aggressively correct in arguments. | ||
| + | Proton's inability to choose between them has become part of the groupchat's ongoing saga, often referred to as "The Triangle" or "Quantum Simping." | ||
| − | + | === Server Promotion and Matchmaking Schemes === | |
| + | Proton has ingeniously combined his systems administration background with his fanfiction writing experience to become the groupchat's most aggressive server promoter. His technical knowledge allows him to optimize Discord invites, create elaborate bot systems, and track engagement metrics with unsettling precision. | ||
| − | + | Perhaps more concerning is his self-appointed role as the server's matchmaker. Drawing from his distorted understanding of human relationships—formed through years of consuming questionable fanfiction tropes—Proton regularly attempts to pair his normal friends with the server's most eccentric members. His shipping spreadsheets, which he occasionally leaks "by accident," reveal elaborate relationship scenarios complete with conflict arcs, reunion episodes, and bizarre happily-ever-afters that would make even the most hardened romance novelist cringe. | |
| + | === Quotes === | ||
| + | * "I'm not the owner, bro. I don't even have mod." – Proton, immediately before banning a user | ||
| + | * "Cookie understands my soul. Sammy understands my calendar." – Proton, late-night VC | ||
| + | * "It’s not a triangle. It’s quantum entanglement." – Proton, trying to science his way out of accountability | ||
| − | + | === Trivia === | |
| − | + | * Has the unofficial title of '''Triangle Centerpiece'''. | |
| − | + | * Left the server twice in one week over Cookie’s Spotify status. | |
| − | + | * May or may not be under FBI surveillance (allegedly). | |
| − | + | * Has an affinity for "Ice cold Dr. Pepper in a those hip can, but needs to be put in the freezer long enough to be perma-frosted" | |
| − | + | * His living room is 50 feet-long | |
| − | + | * Has a Hispanic Ex-Girlfriend who has commited multiple drive-by's on his property. | |
| − | + | * Protons current location is [https://www.itilog.com/en/gps/39.144224/76.934444 38_57_6.12_N/77_8_48.12_W] | |
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Latest revision as of 21:27, 14 July 2025
Proton[edit]
Proton is a former member of Atomwaffen (no longer affiliated), washed up fan-fiction writer and a long-standing member of the Fishtank Alternative Groupchat. Despite frequent accusations, Proton insists that he is not the owner of the server--though his suspiciously quick access to ban commands has raised eyebrows.
Proton has had many careers in his short life, including dark market systems administration and alchemical craftsmanship. A schizophrenic hermit who suffers from severe paranoia, he has become notorious within the group for whispering into his microphone and occasionally gaslighting his friends during heated debates.
More recently, Proton has become the subject of community lore due to his emotional entanglement with two other members: Cookie and Sammy. This complicated triangle has sparked countless memes, debates, and late-night arguments in voice chat.
The Cookie--Sammy Dilemma[edit]
Cookie -- Known for chaotic energy, erratic DMs, and emotionally confusing vibes. Sammy -- More grounded, emotionally intelligent, and passive-aggressively correct in arguments. Proton's inability to choose between them has become part of the groupchat's ongoing saga, often referred to as "The Triangle" or "Quantum Simping."
Server Promotion and Matchmaking Schemes[edit]
Proton has ingeniously combined his systems administration background with his fanfiction writing experience to become the groupchat's most aggressive server promoter. His technical knowledge allows him to optimize Discord invites, create elaborate bot systems, and track engagement metrics with unsettling precision.
Perhaps more concerning is his self-appointed role as the server's matchmaker. Drawing from his distorted understanding of human relationships—formed through years of consuming questionable fanfiction tropes—Proton regularly attempts to pair his normal friends with the server's most eccentric members. His shipping spreadsheets, which he occasionally leaks "by accident," reveal elaborate relationship scenarios complete with conflict arcs, reunion episodes, and bizarre happily-ever-afters that would make even the most hardened romance novelist cringe.
Quotes[edit]
- "I'm not the owner, bro. I don't even have mod." – Proton, immediately before banning a user
- "Cookie understands my soul. Sammy understands my calendar." – Proton, late-night VC
- "It’s not a triangle. It’s quantum entanglement." – Proton, trying to science his way out of accountability
Trivia[edit]
- Has the unofficial title of Triangle Centerpiece.
- Left the server twice in one week over Cookie’s Spotify status.
- May or may not be under FBI surveillance (allegedly).
- Has an affinity for "Ice cold Dr. Pepper in a those hip can, but needs to be put in the freezer long enough to be perma-frosted"
- His living room is 50 feet-long
- Has a Hispanic Ex-Girlfriend who has commited multiple drive-by's on his property.
- Protons current location is 38_57_6.12_N/77_8_48.12_W